Finding a right match is what everyone seeks for. We see how lucky some people are with their true to life fairy tale stories and fervently wished the same for ours. But, is it in any way feasible? Will it ever happen to us?

Wondering if the right one will ever come in itself is a big life mystery, while there are no definite answers to some of life’s critical questions. Life is still our choice and the consequences of our actions may lead to a beautiful or ugly outcome.

Finding your most suitable match is not an impossibility. There are things we can control and those are through the choices that we make. So how do we look for our most suitable match? The following checklist is a good start.

1. Know Yourself

You simply can’t find someone compatible if you don’t know yourself for where would you base compatibility with someone from? Knowing yourself is the first step.

You have to be aware of yourself first. What you like or don’t like, what you can or can’t tolerate, your strengths, your weaknesses, your quirks, inhibitions, and triggers to find the balance of what would best compliment you.

The easiest way to do this is to take some personality test. Find reliable personality test you can take online and save the results. Ask friends and family about how they see you and learn from it. Just keep note and list their observations.

2. Know Who You are Looking For

Be clear of what you’re looking for. The sure-fire-way to do this is to brainstorm and make a list. Make a wishlist of the ideal partner--their personality, appearance, the industry they work in, their interests, etc. Be specific. You can make a priority list, divide them into columns with negotiable and non-negotiable elements. Or score up your dates if they match every quality you’re looking for.

3. Know Who You Attract

There are certain type of people we like and there are those who like us. Notice the pattern of the type of people (the opposite sex) who are drawn to you. For instance, you might really like conservative-type but most of the people who you attract are the liberated-type. Learn and understand why this is so. Being aware of this is the beginning of controlling your circumstances to ultimately attract who you want to attract, and make things go your favor.

4. Stick It Out

Persist on being selective. Say no to doubtful profiles, end dates you think is not good for you as early as possible.

It is important not to be passive about what you really want. This is how most successful people get what they want. They don’t settle, they stick it out longer until they get it. This may sound idealistic but being passive about what you want might make you end up getting the things you don’t like instead. Wait and keep on selecting until the right fit comes along.

5. Be Yourself

While it’s nice and natural to put your best foot forward on a first or second date, you will not be able keep up with an image that is not true to you for a long time. So, as early as chatting with them, try to observe if you can be yourself around this person. If you find it hard to be yourself even on your 4th or 5th date then chances are they might not be a very good match for you. You’d want to be with someone whom you’ll feel comfortable with.

6. Put Yourself Out There

smiling girl holding dog tapping on tablet

Don’t wait around wondering why your suitable match hasn’t arrived yet. As we get older, our social networks tend to decrease and finding a potential mate in the workplace or the locality could become slimmer.

The solution is put yourself out there. Join organizations, social networks or causes that aligns with your interests, or better yet, join dating sites. Utilising technology is the easiest way to do this. Just be sure to read safety tips for online dating first before you take the plunge.

7. Know How to Market Yourself

Oftentimes, how a person perceives you is largely due to how you present yourself. So, make your profile interesting. Know how you’d appear like to people by experimenting on your looks, your photos or profile descriptions and highlighting your best qualities.

In making your profile online, post photos that reflect who you are and your lifestyle. but don’t overdo it. You don’t want to be too predictable or too transparent, you might become a convenient prey to scams. Give space to mystery and intrigue to make any potential mate want to get to know you more.

8. Show Optimism

A positive vibe is always attractive. Use positive phrases or words like “fun” or “exciting” or “happy.” People are drawn to positive, inspiring people. Be as optimistic as possible but work on making this true in your day to day life as well.

9. Love Yourself

This is a rule you can’t keep out from. Love yourself first before you could ever give love to others. Explore yourself. Explore hidden strengths. Develop those strengths and embrace your weaknesses. Only in being so convinced of yourself as a truly lovely person deserving of love, will you attract those that also thinks so.

10. Find the Right Mix

Find the right mix between your type and who you attract. If you can reconcile some elements and find the the sweet spot of these elements, (you like someone but they don’t like you vs. someone likes you but in no way you will ever like them), then you most likely found a keeper. And it might just be the best relationship you’ll ever have in a lifetime.

Final Thoughts

There’s no perfect person. Just a person who matches you quite nicely. Exploring who you are will pave the way to exploring who your best match is.

Have you seen ying yang?

Sometimes the dark can be a nice complement to the light. Some weaknesses can be great fit to some strengths and vice versa. Don’t search for the perfect person, just search for someone great for you.